Summative statement / evaluation

My first goal was to achieve a portfolio suited to professional usage. I self-initiated and took part in competition briefs relevant to these ideas, namely editorial (self-initiated, New Statesman), publishing (Penguin, Stratford) and children's illustration (Carmelite Prize). This resulted in a series of pieces of something of a professional standard, including one that placed in the competition (Carmelite). However, these pieces, plus the more personal other work I completed, resulted in a portfolio that has been criticised for, although having a strong voice, being disparate and inconsistent.

I think that is because I have been finding myself, my voice and visual signature over the year, including my work for COP but also the more self-directed briefs, that hugely informed how I draw now. The work I produced after the Christmas break is moreso the work I see myself making. I've become keen on experimenting with form and figures, and using gouache and texture more. This all said, my keen-ness to change my way of working (shape style, media) hasn't stopped, and my mind will always be an idea ahead of what I'm doing. I question how I should approach my practice beyond the degree... whether to limit myself (and embrace that challenge for a while) or to continue to change (if that is still the natural path). Perhaps I consider a line of practice that runs concurrently but a little separately... just so it doesn't infringe on the portfolio so much, and I can get a foot into professionalism a little easier.

I also wonder if these more "experimental" looks may not be so appropriate for editorial or publishing illustration, and I look to test how far I can push an image whilst still leaving it sensible and appropriate. I have also enjoyed working on more personal projects, particularly Kick Don't Twist which also is something that is published. Being able to combine self-indulgence (to a level) but also make money from it (hurrah) is... what everyone's after, surely.

In regards to the FMP, I have voiced most of my concerns and feelings towards it, but mostly also struggled to come to terms with working it towards academic practice, at this late stage in the degree. Whilst I could or maybe should have specifically briefed myself that I was working on something for the degree, I have seen it as something far more self-indulgent, longer lasting and potentially prolific. With a good old pinch of "artistic angst" (of which I am self-aware of, don't worry) I sometimes resented working it towards the needs of the module.

This all sounds negative, but three years later I really have found myself to be someone who moves forward by analysing, not self-praise. But I'm glad with how things have gone, glad to have found, or am beginning to find, my own artistic voice, and all in all I feel like I've been learning how to learn. The last year, and the two before it, have largely been about opening up my ways of thinking, more than anything, and I hope to be someone who continues to think (and then, at necessary points, think not to think).

I'm going to have fun.